Proverbs 22:6Scripture
This has been a really awesome week getting to pour into the children of our church. We've been focusing on one main theme verse throughout the week that was in the song that the Uptown kids dance to, from Ephesians 2:10. Several kids, probably most of them, have this memorized by now, but Ephesians 2:10 says this: "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Night one, we learned that we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus. That's over there. We don't have to worry about this. Oh, we got the splats. I didn't create the new one, my bad. We learned that we are his workmanship. Night two, we learned, over here in the red, that only God is good. Night three, we talked about the gospel and we learned that the gospel is good news. And then the last one, that I failed to put a light on this morning, the last night we learned that God empowers me for good works. So this morning, as we end and kind of put a nice exclamation point on the end of our VBS week, I want to make this one final main point for us this morning. But this morning, kids, this main point is for you to learn, but it's also for your parents this morning as well. The main
Point 1God empowers, we train
Point this morning is: God empowers, we train. Say that with me: God empowers, we train. And today I want to take the theme verse that we've been looking at all week and I want to parallel it with a couple other pivotal verses from Scripture that I think are going to really encompass well the point that I'm making today, but also bring a couple of these Scriptures maybe to a little bit of new life for you. So I want to take a look at a very well-known Scripture from the book of Proverbs, chapter 22, verse 6. It says this: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." How many of you have heard this verse before? Let me see some hands. It's pretty well known: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." We all know this verse, but this morning I want to look specifically at this instruction to train up a child in the way he should go. Proverbs says train up a child. It doesn't say teach, doesn't say tell them what to do. It says train up a child in the way he should go. And so I looked at this word "train" for a little while, because I find it interesting how often the Bible uses specific vocabulary that we may read over quickly and really not take the time to look at the word and figure out what it is that Paul or King David or whoever the author was, Solomon, who wrote Proverbs, what it is that the author's trying to say. So "to train up a child," I actually went and I got this definition, means to teach a skill or a type of behavior through regular practice and instruction. To teach a skill or a type of behavior through regular practice and instruction.
Point 2Training children is long, difficult work
So this morning I'm just going to say, if any of us here, think, rather, you're a member of the Echo Church family, rather you're a parent, rather you're a grandparent, if you think that training up a child is anything other than a long, difficult process, you're mistaken. And how many of you could give a testimony of how rigorous training up children can be? It's a lengthy process. It's not, they understand the principle or the rule the first, even 300 times, sometimes it takes years. I've got a 13-year-old and I've got a 10-year-old and I've got a two-and-a-half-year-old, she's almost three, and in december we'll have another baby girl, and I've still got some of the same things that I'm beginning to teach my two-and-a-half-year-old that my 13-year- old still doesn't really grasp all the time, and we're 13 years in. And sometimes I look back at the things that my dad would say to me whenever he would get frustrated because I didn't learn something the first four times or five times, or even years in I still hadn't really learned the principle of the concept. Training up children is a long and difficult process. And as I was getting ready this morning, I thought about this, the second verse was just churning in my head, I added it in this morning, but I want to look this morning at the similarity between Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go," and the Scripture that the Apostle Paul gives us in First Corinthians. Are you ready for this? First Corinthians 9:24–27. You may have heard this Scripture before as well.
Paul says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize?" Who knows the Scripture? "So run," Paul says, "that you may obtain it.
Every runner runs in a race, but only one wins, so run in such a way that you may obtain the prize." Verse 25, he says, "Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we," the "we" here is the body of Christ, Christians, those born again, you got to hear some good theology from these songs this morning. I don't know if you picked up on it. Pastor Shawn actually leaned over to me at one point during the second or third song and said, "i'm pretty sure the kids singing today have better theology than most of the adults did when we first started our church." He's talking about the church here.
The runners run to receive a perishable wreath, Paul says, but we, the church, an imperishable. "So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box like John Cena, as one beating the air.
But I discipline," here's the word I want you to look at this morning, "I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." Now, you could be thinking to yourself, "Pastor J, are these verses, aren't really talking about the same thing." And they're not. One's talking about training up youth, and another one's talking about personal discipleship, that Paul submitted himself to under the authority of God. But what they're both talking about is discipline. And if you look at the word "discipline" that Paul's using, it's a personal discipline, but I looked up this word in my Bible study software, and I began to smile, because I knew that this verse had come into my mind. I felt God put it on my heart this morning while I was getting ready.
And the word "discipline" that Paul uses when he says "I discipline my body" is learning. Here's a definition for you: learning that molds character and enforces correct behavior, and it comes from a Latin word meaning instruction or training. Solomon says in Proverbs 22, "Train up a child in the way he should go," and I believe in this Scripture in First Corinthians 9, Paul gives us a very good description, a very good picture of what training looks like. It's not an easy process.
We recently got a new little dog. It was a tragic story of what happened with our first dog, but we got a new little dog. His name is Ollie, and he's only about this big, and he's about full grown, and he's a little half miniature poodle, so he's got that curly hair thing going on. And every evening I make it my own personal responsibility, I don't take the dog out a whole lot during the day, but I take the dog for his walk in the evening, and we go for a walk around. We have very large blocks in our neighborhood, so I take the dog for a walk around the whole block, and I've already begun to notice, over the course of just a couple weeks, the impact that just walking around the big block in my neighborhood's making, because I'm doing it every evening. Disciplining your body is hard work, and you're not going to see quick results. Now, Alicia's told me over and over again, I'll try to get into some, where they call them fad diets, i'll do some fad diet to try to shred a whole lot of weight real quick, and I never keep the weight off, and I bounce back even bigger than I was when I started. Because if you're going to discipline your body, there's not a quick way to do that. There's not a cheater method to doing that, nor is there a quick cheater method to training up our children. It's a lengthy, long, rigorous process to train up a child. Solomon says "in the way he should go." Can you see the seriousness that God's Word puts on how we should bring up our children?
Point 3Your children are always watching you
Parents, your children are learning from you. This is a harsh truth that I'm sitting under regularly. Last night, I literally had this sermon most of the way written, and I had to sit under this principle that was handed to me very lovingly from my wife. I had to sit under it myself last night after I talked harshly with my son.
Your children are learning from you, whether you like it or not, and they're learning from you all the time.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 10:01
He says in that First Corinthians Scripture that "every athlete exercises self-control in all things."
Parents, the reason why raising up children is so tiring is because you never get a moment off.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 10:26
They're never not looking, they're never not watching.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 10:39
I remember there was a period of time where, long story short, I didn't have a driver's license, and so I had to rely on some friends to drive me to the places I needed to go, and I would ride every now and then in the van with the Schaefers, and we would have conversations, adult, not like inappropriate adult conversations, but talking as adults, and out of the blue, randomly, constantly, regularly, Ella would chime into the conversation and would offer up some tidbit of information, and I had to learn that in the Schaefers' van, Ella's always listening. Now, she was like 12 or 13 at the time, but your kids, they're sponges, they're absorbing everything. And this principle is true in every area of discipleship, whether it's parents and children, maybe you're in here today and you don't have any kids in this church fellowship, my kids are still watching you because you're part of this family.
And so it doesn't matter if it's parents and children, it doesn't matter if it's older men and younger men, it doesn't matter if it's children's ministry leaders and kids that they're not related to by blood at all, this principle is true in every area of discipleship.
Credibility and trust can take months, it can take years to build up in a relationship.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 11:56
When a child is watching you as somebody that can be a role model in their life, that credibility can take months, it can take years to build, but
You can destroy it in a second. You can lose your temper with a child and in a second destroy six months of relationship building that you've been pouring in.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 12:18
They are watching you all the time. These athletes, Paul says, exercise self-control in all things.
Point 4Discipleship is the whole church's job
And like I said, this isn't just for parents. I'm not just talking to parents today, because as a church family, the Bible says that we're all responsible for the youth that we're raising up. We're all responsible for the young men and the young women of God that will one day be the elders of our church, that will one day be raising up the next generation. And I believe that there is a pivotal, I don't believe it's, it's a fact, you just might not agree with me, but you're wrong, there is a pivotal breakdown in generational discipleship, and older men raising up younger men and older women raising up younger women.
There is a pivotal breakdown in generational discipleship in the church across America,
Pastor J.R. Brown · 13:30
because we have churches full of men and women who, as Paul puts it, won't exercise self-control in all things, and we have broken the connection, the relationship of being role models to raise up young men and women, simply because we won't conduct ourselves the way that Scripture calls us to. We try to teach our children, we try to dictate to our children. Somebody said something in our leader meeting, and I meant to write it down, I tweeted it on Facebook, we can't tweet on Facebook, I put it on Facebook and then I forgot to add it to my notes, that there's a difference. I'm gonna just look it up, because it was good. You're on the right thought.
There's a pivotal difference between discipleship and indoctrination.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 14:30
Being told is not the same thing as being taught, and we are telling our kids what to do and not teaching them and training them up in what they should do.
And as one of your pastors, I'm one of the guiltiest parties in this bunch. I can either own it or I can preach Pharisaically to you and be a hypocrite, but I'm learning this myself, and it's hard. Training up young men and women who will follow God in all things and exercise self-control the way Paul says it, in all things, is hard work. It makes me wonder sometimes, God, why am I still having kids? I'm 37, I'm three years away from 40, and I've got another bun in the oven.
What are we doing? What's the answer?
I'm raising up warriors who I will send out into a world that desperately needs the gospel,
Pastor J.R. Brown · 15:35
but I'm not raising up warriors to send out into a world that desperately needs the gospel if I'm not training them up, training them up, not telling them up, not scolding them up, not spanking them up, if I'm not training them up in the way they should go. Let's look at an example of how this is not just a parent's responsibility but the body of Christ. Let's look at Paul's example to Timothy in Second Timothy chapter 3. It says, "You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra, which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, Timothy, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." Timothy had examples from his mentor, from his older brother in the faith, the older man training up the younger man. Timothy had examples of walking in Christ's likeness, walking in good works. He had examples in teaching, but he had examples in simply watching Paul's conduct. Paul saying, "You heard the things that I spoke to you, but you also saw how I treated the annoying waitress at the restaurant. You also saw how I loved my neighbor even though he constantly blew his leaves back over onto my yard." He had examples in teaching and conduct, in the ambitions, the aim of a life. Paul says, "You saw and you have watched my aim in a life. You have seen that my ambition has been, as Paul says it earlier, for the gospel. I'm not ashamed of the gospel. I'll preach it all the time."
He had examples in Paul's faith, in his love, and his steadfastness, and I believe the most important, he had examples from his mentor who discipled him for years, the Apostle Paul, and watching Paul suffer well. God may empower our children for good works. That's what Ephesians 2:10 says: "We are created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." God may empower our children for good works, but he charges parents and the church for the training process. I want to ask a couple questions, there's three this morning, as I prepare to close these thoughts that just simply came to my head and I've been chewing on them all week. As Echo Church, part of the body of Christ, but as a
Point 5Train children to glorify God, not themselves
Church family together, a whole body of Christ, as Echo Church, are we training up children to glorify God or to glorify themselves?
Are we training up children for good works that God has prepared for them or good things that we want to see in them? Because I can tell you that
While God cares immensely about the character of your son or your daughter, I don't think he cares that much about their championship title.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 19:39
While he cares about their steadfastness and their perseverance and their dedication to do their very best, I don't think he cares about their GPA. So are we training up children to glorify God or to glorify themselves?
Are we training up children to find and seek their approval in God or to seek their approval in other people, and to determine that for yourself, where do you seek your approval? And are we training up children to be aspirational or to be perfectionists?
Seven, eight, nine, come on, you got this, one more, yes, good job. What is going on back there? Hey, Pastor J.R. Hey, kid. Hey, okay, so I'm so sorry for interrupting, but I was listening and thinking a lot about what you were saying, so I thought I should do a better job at helping train up Bert.
Bert. Okay, but what are you two actually doing back there? It sounds like there's some pretty hard work happening. Yeah, uncover me, uncovered bird a little bit, there you go, Bert, thank you. Okay, Bert. Okay, so me and Bert were just laying some eggs. Well, Bert was laying the eggs, and she almost got a full dozen, Luna. All that work back there was just laying eggs? Oh yeah. The training and discipleship that we're talking about today is not about laying eggs, it's about training up children to walk out the good works that God has prepared for them. No eggs, good works. Oh, my bad, I may have misunderstood that part a little. Well, we're gonna let you go, guys. Sorry for interrupting, Pastor J.R. Bye, kids. It's okay, Luna, we'll talk to you soon.
Everybody say bye, Luna. Goodness.
It's not about laying eggs. It's not about what you think you can do.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 22:31
It's not about trying to appeal and please people around you. It's not about trying to appear to be better than maybe you actually are at the moment.
I think one of the healthiest things that we can do sometimes is to just sit with a good mentor
Pastor J.R. Brown · 22:56
and say, "I'm not doing very good.
I need some help. I botched it yesterday with my son. I need somebody to hold me accountable for a few weeks about my temper.
I need somebody to really pester me about the time that I'm spending with the Lord, because it's a struggle for me right now." But we try to come into this place and we try to put on a facade like we got it all together. You know,
Who knows how well you really have it together? Your kids.
Pastor J.R. Brown · 23:34
And not only do we fall guilty sometimes of trying to tell them something instead of train them up in something, but what we're actually role modeling for them is therapeutic hypocrisy: say one thing, do something else, as long as everybody at church sees our good side, that's all that really matters. I grew up in that family.
I grew up in that family, listening to parents yell and scream at each other or yell and scream at their kids literally as they were pulling into the church parking lot, and then put on a Sunday smile, and then just pick it back up when they got home. So I've got stuff I've got to break off of me too. But are we going to train up children in the way they should go? Are we going to raise up a new generation of Christlike warriors who won't be ashamed of the gospel, as Paul says, "I'm not ashamed of the gospel"? Are we going to train up young men and women who are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, to do the good works that God has prepared for them, or are we going to teach them how to do things the way that we got taught how to do them?
Happy VBS Sunday. Let's pray.
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