Romans 15:22–29Scripture
This morning, turn your Bibles with me to Romans chapter 15. We have been working steadily over the last two years as we've made our way through one of the most doctrinally rich treatises in the entire Bible, and this morning we continue that journey as we reflect and read what I believe is the closing of Paul's letter. Very right at the very beginning of chapter 1, he opens the letter with a greeting. He, last week, begins to close this letter with a closing, a salutation, if you will. Goodbye, an adios. Between chapter 1 and chapter 15 there is the doctrinal treatise. He is laying down doctrinal issues that many of us in this church have had the privilege to wrestle with. These things, it's not bad to wrestle, you know, it's not bad to struggle.
Growth happens in resistance. Growth happens when we wrestle with things.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 1:06
We live in a culture now where we have positioned ourselves in many areas of our life to find places of ease. So then when we come into the church, and then what becomes requisite for growth is resistance, then we have issue with that. I mean, think about our lives for a moment. It's little things that push back, like the air conditioner not working so great this morning, right? And it affects everything, because in our life we have positioned ourselves for ease. I find myself, whenever I begin to
Introduction
Even get close to a speed bump, I find myself going, how can I go around that thing? Right? Many of you have ever seen those speed bumps where they have a couple holes in the middle and you try to figure out how to hit one tire in the gap so only two tires on the right will go over the speed bump but the left tire won't, because if I can have half the, I mean, have you ever done that? Have you ever tried to miss, like, half the speed bump? You know how ridiculous that is? Do you know that messes up your alignment more than just going over the speed bump? But ease becomes a priority in our life. This is why we don't eat healthy, because of ease. This is why we don't prioritize things that need to be prioritized in our life, because of ease. This is why wants become more important than priorities, because of ease. So then when we come and we face Scripture and we are right off the bat begin to have to wrestle with things, we figure out whether or not we want to stay at a place, particularly even at a church, where ease is not a priority. In the church any longer, just his Word is. And let me tell you, if God's Word is a priority, and that is the number one priority in a fellowship, ease will not be something that is right there in front of your face all the time. It just won't. I'm not saying we have to suffer, I'm not saying we have to be masochistic, but I am saying that the Bible is not easy. All right, so it has been a good journey. I just want to start off this morning with opening up with the text, right? Romans 15:22-29. I think there are some things that we can take away that are culturally relevant, helpful for our current situation, that might help us evaluate our current position in life and maybe move the needle from where we are currently living to where Christ would have us live. Romans 15:22-29 says this: "This is the reason why I have so often been hindered from coming to you," Paul speaking to the church in Rome, sharing his desire, his
Point 1Paul put his have-to before his want-to
Want. Everybody say "want to." How often we get our "want to" and "have to" confused. He very clearly understands that his want to, all right, is often diminished by his have to. His have to, "I have to do this because God has called me to do this," often thwarts his want to. How often in your life is your want to thwarted by your have to? That should be very convicting if you're breathing, because the reality is we have prioritized ourself in an unhealthy fashion in America. It's unhealthy. We wake up in the morning prioritizing our want to. We make our breakfast based on our want to. We choose our job based on our want to. We choose our friends based on our want to. We choose the people we hang out with based on our want to. We choose our churches based on our want to. We tithe, we give offerings based on our want to. We serve or don't serve based on our want to. But what of our have-tos? How many of you, if I were to ask you what you want to do, how many of you could give me a list ten pages long of the things you want to do? But if I asked you what you had to do as a believer, how long would it take to formulate ten things on that list? The reality is we don't know what our have-to is as believers. We simply exist based on our want- tos. So then when we read God's Word, we consider our want-tos. What do we want to do? What will God allow us to do? What can we do now that we're believers? Everything is me-centric, and very little of our life do we prioritize our have to over our want to.
Paul is an example for us today, because Paul, although he wanted to go to Rome, continued to not go to Rome, because his have-to, his priorities, were in order. Now many of you young people today, you might be thinking of your parents and think, man, one day when I get old and decrepit like them, I will understand the difference between my have to and my want to. I want to say to you, I don't think that many of your parents understand the difference between a want to and a have to, because age doesn't help you prioritize better just because you're older. The reality is our culture has messed us up and God is trying to get us back. And there is a difference between someone who says they're a believer and someone who is a believer, and the church is filled with people who don't have this straight, because honestly this can't get straight until you're saved and redeemed and made new and that which you have to do consumes you to the fashion where, when you're faced with a choice between want to and have to, you will not be able to do the want to over the have to, because you're new. You're new. You can't. All right, now listen to me. "But now, since I no longer have any room for work in these regions." Guys, just let me remind you of where the regions are. It's Jerusalem to Illyricum. Okay, you might pronounce that differently, I'm up here with the mic, so that's what it's called for the moment. All right, this is a lot of distance. I'm going to talk later about what the distance is. It's insane. There were no planes, trains, and automobiles, people. This was a long ways by foot, and Paul understood his have-to. His have-to covered a lot of territory.
It was a lot. Some of you don't like walking across the room to get to the remote. This guy carried, I mean, by foot, it was a lot. I'm speaking of myself when I don't want to get up across the room. That's sometimes, I will say to my boys, that's why I had you, to get me the remote. Like, that's my reward for bearing with you, is that occasionally when you walk through the room. One time my coffee table, because my wife wants to decorate more than it practically, where the coffee table sits in my living room practically does not help me, but it looks cool. So when I reach over to get my glass, even if I lean all the way over, the teens that have been in my house understand, I can't quite reach it. So every once in a while I'll tell my kids to get it for me, and then it's the joke in the house that Dad's too lazy to even put one foot on the floor to get his cup. I don't even know where I'm going with this. I don't even want to reach and put one foot on the floor to get my cup. But Paul covered distance from Illyricum to Jerusalem. It's a long ways. And he said, listen to this, I've done everything in this distance. I've done everything that I've been told to do. That's crazy. All right, "I have no more work in these regions, and since I have longed for many years to come to you, I hope to see you in passing as I go to Spain, and to be helped on my journey there by you, once I have enjoyed your company for a while. At present, however, I'm going to Jerusalem bringing aid to the saints. For Macedonia and Achaia have been pleased to make some contribution for the poor among the saints at Jerusalem." So we see the have-to here. The have-to is the work that he was called to do in this region, this long region from Illyricum to Jerusalem, all right? And then there's a get-to on the way to his want-to. So for years he spends time doing the have-to, and on the way to his want-to he gets to bring aid to the saints in Jerusalem. But notice the order here: have-to first, get-to second, want-to last. Is that how you order it in your life? Let me ask a more difficult question: do you even know the have to? Okay, it's going to be a meddling sermon, I'm just telling you right now, I'm warning you, like, warning, this is going to meddle. Now I will get emails and I will get phone calls this week. I'm just going to go ahead and say this in advance: no, I did not think about you. I intentionally did not wear my contacts today so that I cannot see past the first row. So if you're on the first row, good luck. If you're past the first row, no, I was not thinking of you when I said something that was written in my notes. I was not thinking of you when I wrote it in my notes. Matter of fact, the way that I do this, if a name pops into my head when I'm writing notes, I specifically do not even talk about that thing that I was going to write. That's the way I do this. But you need to understand that I was not thinking about you. I'm not talking specifically to you, because that seems to be the question I get every single Sunday. I don't do things like that, I don't function like that. I am writing this out of a personal walk with the Lord and personal challenge for me, and you get to become the benefactors of it. The questions I ask on Sunday morning are merely questions that I ask to get to a place where I can consider what God might be asking of me. This is not about you. This is about God. Actually, this is about getting you dead so God can get the glory. It's not about you. It's not about whether you feel good or bad. It's about whether God is glorified, and oftentimes God is most glorified when you are most dead, and God is most glorified when you are not. So this isn't about you feeling awesome about yourself, this is about us feeling awesome about God. That's what this is about. All right, but this is going to meddle. "For they were pleased to do it, and indeed they owed it to them. For if the Gentiles have come to share in their spiritual blessings, they ought also to be of service to them in material blessings. When therefore I have completed this and have delivered to them what has been collected," I've already completed the have-to, I'm going to complete the get-to, "and once I have done that, I will leave for Spain by way of you. I know that when I come to you I will come in the fullness of the blessing of Christ." Little did he know he would do it in chains. You thought I was going to be on vacation. I get to go to Hawaii, or you get to go to prison. See, because even God uses the want-to accomplish his will, and so that he gets the glory, because when you're his, you're his completely, and your want-tos are used for his purposes. Are you with me? All right, this is crazy text here. It's crazy. I believe you can learn a lot about a person by assessing their priorities, but
Point 2What you prioritize reveals what you value
Things have to be done before other things can be done.
You learn a lot about what someone values by what they prioritize.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 16:44
Think with me just for a moment, think with me of yourself: what do you prioritize currently in your life? Now think with me for a moment: how much eternal reward is birthed out of what you prioritize?
See, these questions are helpful, but these questions are somewhat hurtful, because if you're breathing today, the reality is there is some struggle in our life in this regard. You learn a lot about how a person measures worth by what they prioritize. I would say this: you learn a lot about how a person measures worth by what they prioritize in their pain. Listen to me, if it's easy to prioritize, it's easy to prioritize things in a right manner when everything is going well. But what of the moments in life when all hell is breaking loose in your life? What do you prioritize then? I would propose to you this morning that the greatest assessment of what you prioritize is not by assessing your life when everything is peachy keen, but when all hell is breaking loose. What do you prioritize then? That's important.
I'm going to give you a personal example. I'm going to give you a personal example. I'm not coming at everybody, this is not personal, this is about me. I'm not making it about you. Pastor J.R. Talked about migraines. We have 50% of the church that have migraines, right? Understand my heart, I'm using this as an example. I had a migraine that was so debilitating on Tuesday. I felt it, particularly funny because I haven't had a migraine in a little while. Then Pastor J.R. Had people pray for us, and I had one two days later. It was so debilitating, in fact, and I'm not saying it's because everybody prayed for us, but I just think it was interesting. And it was, ask Brook, it was bad. It was bad. Like, there was one part that I thought I was going to have to go to the because I couldn't see any longer. It was bad. Then Wednesday night came and it was bad still, and I was just nauseous. I couldn't eat anything for two days. I hadn't eaten or even drank anything, because everything I put in just, I could, it was bad. And I began to ask myself the question, because I was preparing for the sermon, Shawn, what do you prioritize? I mean, that's easy to answer when you don't have a migraine, but how do you answer that question when you do? Well, I mean, all I do on Wednesday night, here's my dialogue, you just need to hear it, all I do on Wednesday night is I run a little media. I don't even really do the small group. I basically don't even play the games. I just am trying to be a silent helping partner for my wife back in the back and for Cameron as he preaches. I'm just trying to be a silent helping partner for the other sponsors that are there and just be invisible and run media and help with lights and click buttons and then walk out the door and not be, and no, I write questions. I mean, some of the teens would probably appreciate if I would stay home from a migraine because of the way I write questions, but I write questions, that's all I do. No one's going to miss me, it doesn't matter that I'm there. But see, that I'm prioritizing what is a have-to based on whether people want me or not. What if God, and when does he come into the equation? And so I decided I would go. And listen, it was loud in here. It was loud. The mic was super loud, everything was loud, the lights were loud. It was loud, and I sat in the back and it looked a little something like this, and clicked through the buttons, and when someone came up to talk I was like, "Hello, how are you doing?" And they walked away. Because sometimes we prioritize the have-to even though we don't feel like it. Are you with me? Now if you're throwing up and you're running 104, please do not come and pass that to me. Are you with me today? There's all kinds of subtle nuances, and I could just hear the hashtags and the comments today, and I could hear all the questioning, but we need to talk today in our culture about the moments we are supposed to prioritize things we have to do even though we don't feel like it, because everything we do in life and every decision we make in life is based off of whether we want to and we feel like it or not. Listen, you don't feel like going to school, you sure show up there. Parents, you don't feel like going to work, but you go there. It's amazing to me how many parents will go to work on Friday and be more sick on Friday than they are on Saturday no longer running a fever, but won't show up to church on Sunday because they're recouping from going to work sick on Thursday and Friday. Priorities. Are you with me today? Am I meddling yet? Priorities. What do you do? What choices do you make when you don't feel like making the right choice?
I know what you prioritize by your presence, because your presence says much more than your profession.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 24:38
Are you with me today? Your presence matters. Now let me go ahead and say something that you guys might be asking: so does that mean that I can't take a break? You should take a break. Should that mean that I should have no margin in my life? You should. My question is, why does the church have to be the place you find margin and not all the other things you've prioritized over God? Are you with me today? Maybe the question isn't, maybe the question isn't, should I have a rest? Maybe the question is, what should I prioritize? All right, does that mean that I have to be at church every single time that we have something? No. I think that sometimes you should take a break from church. You should travel, you should vacation, you should do that, you should take a break from here, but you should still go to church when you're on vacation. Are you with me today?
Because you don't take a vacation from prioritizing God.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 26:07
All right, you learn that what a person says is a priority might not line up with what a person actually prioritizes, and it is the conduct of an individual that reveals what a person truly deems a priority. Let's take a moment, just for a moment, and this is very conversational today, but let's just take a moment, let's just assess some of our priorities in life. Let me give you some food for thought, some ways that you can begin to assess priorities in your life. Here's a few things that I thought of
Point 3Honestly assess your media, family, giving, and listening
Just off the top of my head. Media time versus Bible time. Assess that. Brook, I'll pick on you, Clash Royale time versus Bible time, assess it. See, I can meddle with Brook, it's a little scarier because I see her all day long. Now I don't see you all, I do is get, maybe possibly get an email from you or a question from you, but what is your thing media-wise? Some of you, let me ask, let me ask my boys, I'll meddle with them, this is fun because I'm bigger than them, what are they going to do? I'll smack them around, you know what I mean, not in an unhealthy way, but like a playful way. Do you prioritize game time? I'm not against games. I mean, I'll be happy to play a game with you and be the guy running into the wall with a gun trying to find people. I'll play. But do you prioritize game time over Bible time? I'm not even talking about the amount of time, I'm talking about, do you always play games?
When was the last time you ever picked up the Bible and read it?
Pastor Shawn Gray · 28:15
Priorities. Priorities.
Isn't it amazing that we have to play games? I have to watch TV. I have to be on Facebook. I wake up and it's, I have to see whether people liked me or not. When was the last time you had that have-to feeling about God's Word?
Priorities. What drives you?
I can get a glimpse of your have-to by your behavior.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 28:54
Media time versus Bible time. Another one: self time versus family time. All the introverts in the house, listen to me. Self time. Ask my wife and my kids how long I spend in the bath every evening. Some of you will begin to wonder if I'm saved. No man would ever spend that much time in the bath. It's at least an hour. It ain't a good bath until you've refilled the bathtub, emptied it out enough where you could put more hot water in there and have a fresh one, until that gets lukewarm again, and it's a really good one if you do it a third time. Let me just say right now, let me just say right now, you might think that's insane, and you might be asking yourself the question, is he really a man? I am, in case you're wondering. But I want to say this, it's myself time. It is the space that is uninterrupted, well, it's not uninterrupted, it's not uninterrupted. Sometimes my boys will pop in, they will sit against the counter with the curtain closed in the bathtub, mind you, sit against the counter and chat with me. I don't go to them. Well, you know what, this is myself time, get out of here. Because family time is important too, and matter of fact, if your children need that time, although it's your self time, will you sacrifice that self time because family time is important too? "Oh, well, I'm introverted and I need to be recouped so that I can actually spend time with family." Wrong. It isn't about you, right? Sure, you should go find time to recoup, but if your coping is to the jeopardy of your children, you fail if you will not sacrifice that for them. Can you prioritize that self time over family time? Here's one: work attendance over church attendance. We already did that. Let's get off that.
Spending habits versus giving habits. Oh, that's meddling right there. So I mean, somebody actually told me a while ago, this is not real, like, there are some people in the church who tip more in a week than they give God in a week. Because every time you give, it says in the Bible, it ascends to the throne of God.
Some of you will tip 20% but you won't give a buck. If you were to assess what is ascended to the throne of God, what did that look like compared to what is ascended to the feet of men who served you at dinner? Priorities. That's meddling, Shawn, get off that. Okay, talking in conversation versus listening. Oh, trust me, this is going to connect to Paul, just hang on, just hang on. Talking versus listening. How many of you just can't stop talking? There are sometimes, and can we just have an honest moment, there are sometimes that with some people, nobody in here, that I wish there was an off button on them. There are some of you who maybe wish there was an off button on me. And these are the things that we should evaluate. Sometimes we talk too much and sometimes we don't listen enough. So this comes from a personal place, not think that I'm just meddling with you. This question is birthed out of a thing yesterday with my son, and I wrote this down in my notepad in the bath time, because that's where I do most of my sermon writing. I bet that's a, I'm sorry for even sharing that with you. But my son yesterday, we were golfing and then we came home and I was preparing to go out to go fishing in a kayak, and Ashton was talking to me about his computer and the coil in his GPU and how it ran, and I was hearing him but I wasn't hearing him. Are you with me, parents? And he said, "Did you hear what I said?" And I said, "Yes, you're talking about the coil in your GPU," but I had no clue what he was saying about the coil in his GPU. He goes, "So you understand what I'm saying, right?" And I went, "Yeah, you got me." "Can you rephrase that again? Can you retell me?" And he goes, "You're not listening, are you? Hear the words that are coming out of my mouth." "Yeah, I hear the words," but I'm not listening.
And the reality is that your children know when you don't place value on them enough to not just hear their words but to hear them.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 34:41
Are you with me?
So don't be so busy caring about you that you don't care about others.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 35:13
Priorities.
Priorities. Do you have them? And are they egocentric? It's good. Are your prayers marked by requests or thanksgiving? If I were to tell you right now to pray, you'd be like, "Lord." It's amazing how quick we go to requests, but the command is, you enter. Everybody say "enter." Enter. That's the beginning. "Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise." And then you present your requests with boldness before the throne. You don't get to the throne unless you come through thanksgiving and praise first, because the throne is in the innermost part. It is amazing how we want to teleport ourselves to the throne by opening our prayers with requests without ever offering a word of thanks or a song of praise. Priorities.
We know what you prioritize by how you pray.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 36:31
The reality is if you're someone who opens up your prayers with requests, I know you prioritize you over God. Are you with me? And so these then become simple tools by which we are able to assess our priorities. Why do we do this? So that we can feel that we're filthy, dirty scoundrels and feel like terrible sources of human beings on the earth? No. So that you can have a realistic idea of where you're at, so that God can move you to where he wants you to be. Because it's true assessment that presents true needs, that presents an opportunity for true dependency on the one who can change you completely. Why would you be dependent on God if you don't realize that there's a problem with you? So I would say, take some time this week and assess. Listen to yourself in conversations. How much of it is egocentric and how much of it is others- centric? Let me just say this: Jesus laid down his life for you unto death on a cross. How easy is it for you to lay down your life in a conversation? Priorities. Priorities. We can talk all day long about Paul has priorities and they are in order, but think about our priorities. Why are we going to focus on this type of achievement that Paul lives at when we can't even pray right? Let's assess where we're at relating to your kids. Meddling. Correction is easier than
Point 4Lead your children with conversation, not correction
Conversation. It's funny when men begin to step up into their role to be the spiritual leader of the home, it is amazing, and it's inevitable, that the way that a man, all men, begin to try to exercise and grow into that role that they feel called by God to is by stepping into correction first. "Well, I'm the spiritual leader of this home, I'm correcting everyone. I'm the referee. Foul, don't talk back, foul." And then they do that to their wife and they almost die, and they're like, wait a minute, maybe I should try this conversation thing out. Because leadership is not necessarily about correction. Leadership is about conversation. See, correction prioritizes self. "Your inconvenience in me, stop it. I don't like that, stop it." Notice what it starts with: I. "You're annoying me, stop it. That's embarrassing me in front of this restaurant of all these people, stop it."
Correction is self-centric. Conversation prioritizes the child.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 40:16
It's easier to correct, it's harder to have a conversation, but leaders have conversations. And children correct. It's easy to make children enter your world. It's quite another thing to go enter theirs. When was the last time you set yourself apart, your wants aside, and you prioritized your children's wants? No, not called them to come do something you like to do, but went and did something they like to do? "Well, I'm not good at that." Go be bad at that with them. They will have more fun making fun of you for being bad at it. I mean, I would love to invite Ashton to come play basketball with me every day. I'm good at that and that's fun, being good at something. It's fun being unstoppable. It's fun for your kids to be unstoppable too. It's something you're bad at.
When was the last time you were willing to be bad at something so that your child could be good at something?
Pastor Shawn Gray · 41:47
It is amazing how parents will make fun of what their kids do rather than participate in what their kids do. "Well, stupid games these days, and these kids, all they do is play games, and it's just so dumb, and our generation's going to hell in a handbasket because of games."
Games is not the problem. You are the problem, and your kids are going to hell in a handbasket because you don't love them enough to actually hang out with them and get to know them.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 42:11
You would just rather sit around in gossip central and make fun of them over tea. Sorry, I don't know where we're from, England. I mean, seriously, coffee. What, young people, what would you do if an 80-year-old came, sat down, and played a game with you? That'd be fun, right? Well, you know what, I'm getting older, I'm not sure how much value I have, and I just have a real heart for these young people today. How much of a heart do you have for them? I will know that by how much you prioritize them, and are you willing to prioritize them outside your comfort? Because those 80, 90-year-olds who do and engage them in their world, I actually believe them when they sit around dinner and say, "I care about the younger generation." But the people who say it but don't do anything about it, I don't believe them. I believe they know how to talk a good talk because they've been in church long enough to know what to say. Are you with me today? This is where the rubber meets the road, people. This is important. Let me ask another question: are your children overcommitted, and did you endorse it?
And the reality is many of you can't even judge whether your children are overcommitted because you don't know how to judge that for yourself. Some of you are overcommitted. Okay, how do the things they're committed to help them eternally? There's a question you should be asking.
And in case you're wondering if that's you, all kids are overcommitted today. That's why the suicide rates are the way they are. The problem is not society, and the problem is not media. The problem is you have allowed your children to overcommit themselves to a degree that they cannot even stand under the pressure that is mounting over their head, and honestly we say that's good parenting. All right, moving on. Do their commitments rob them of the energies necessary to invest in spiritual priorities? All right, moving on, y'all.
Quiet in here. That's personal, right? It's personal. Paul certainly had priorities, but this is not just a story about his apostolic priorities.
Paul is just decorated dust. He's not awesome. Awesome is reserved for God.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 45:35
He's decorated dust. "Well, I want to structure my life according to what Apostle Paul did." Anything the Apostle Paul did was because God sovereignly ordained it, sovereignly empowered it, and sovereignly worked it through him for his glory. Nothing Paul did was on his own. Let me tell you what Paul does when he is on his own: kills Christians. It took a radical transformation, a complete and hostile takeover by God, to being filled with the Spirit and totally enslaved to God and his purposes, with God in total control, for Paul to do what he did for Christ. He ain't all that and a bag of chips. He's just a man like you and I, a man that had been changed by God. God used him, but he's a frail and a fragile creature. And let me remind you that
Paul did not exist to be our example. Christ is our example.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 47:09
Well, it's amazing when people want to connect with somebody in the Bible, some of the most popular people that are mentioned are Moses and Paul. It's amazing when people say, "Pick a character to relate to," no one ever picks Christ. But Christ is your example. When you're a believer, you know who you're supposed to be like. Moses? Moses didn't even make it in the promised land. That's who you want to connect to? Christ is our example. Even Paul said, even Paul said, "Follow me as I follow Christ." However, because of his position, we learned something important about the church. Now real quick, because I kind of belabored some things that maybe I shouldn't belabor, but I have belaboring liberties because I have the mic, right? I want to mention some stuff in the breakdown of this Scripture that we just read, after kind of laying all this as a preface. He has
Point 5Keep have-to, get-to, and want-to in order
To go to Spain. Everybody say "he has to." He has to, he has to go to Spain. I'm called to go to Spain. That's the has-to. He gets to go to Jerusalem. Everybody say "gets to." He wants to go to Rome. Everybody say "wants to." Listen to this, by James Edwards: "Ironically, in the same breath he mentions Spain, he says he must go to Jerusalem. Consider for a moment the range of Paul's plans. He writes from Corinth to Rome about his visit to Spain with a trip to Jerusalem. His plans reflect the tension between his allegiance to the mother church in the Jewish East and the missionary call to the Gentile West. The gospel did not present Paul with the option of serene detachment from the world. In spite of his mission, or because of his mission, it made him increasingly vulnerable to the far-flung forces of the world. He had promises to keep and miles to go before he slept." It's nice to do what you want to, but there are things you have to do before you do the things you want to do, not just the things you have to but the things you get to. "I want dessert." You have to eat the green stuff first. "But I want to." You have to eat the green stuff first. "But I want it." And the parent goes, "Here, just have dessert so you'll be quiet, so you won't whine to me anymore." Parents, how many times do you cave and let your child have the want-to because they whine too much about it, and what are you teaching them about the kingdom of God? Because God won't put up with that mess. And once they are introduced to God, they will look and compare their relationship with God with their relationship with you, and you know what they'll think about God? "God's a big meanie. I want nothing to do with him, and my parents are cool. If God was more like my parents and God gave me my want-to whenever I wanted, then I would actually serve him." "I want to go play." "Well, you got to do your schoolwork first." "Man, I want to."
It's amazing, because we see this in the life of a child and we understand how ridiculous this is, but this is what we do as adults. Most of our life is ruled by our want. Not Paul's. He understood the have-to, and he understood that the have-to is a priority, but he also understood that the get-to, or the must-to, is as well, and he never prioritized the want-to over the have-to and the must-to, or the want-to or the get-to, I'm sorry, not want-to but get-to. It's not that there's no room for want-to. Listen to me, that's what we're learning from this. There was room for Paul to want to go to Rome, and there's room for you to have a want-to. Are you with me today? It is that there's a place for a want-to, and it is not first. I would say it's convenient to have a father and a mother so you don't have to decide the have-to from the want-to. The problem is fathers and mothers don't prioritize have-to and want-to properly either, so we don't even get the comfort of trusting their decision. Young people, are you hearing me today? I don't think your parents get this right all the time, so you don't get to depend on your parents to determine the have-to and the want-to. Young people, if you're faced with an option to do six things, to participate in six different things, do you know the energy that will expend? Have you considered how that might affect the energies you spend in the things of God? And do you know that it is not your parents' responsibility to make that decision, but it is your decision to make? And there are going to be times that your parents are going to say, "Yes, you can do it," but that doesn't mean it's okay for you to do it.
Let me tell you something: no is not a dirty word, because sometimes to say yes to God you have to say no to the things you want.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 53:35
Are you with me today? And no longer, especially teenagers, no longer do you get to ride on this: "Well, my parents endorsed it, so it's okay," if you find it robbing you of all energy to be able to do anything for God, including spending five minutes talking to him or reading the Bible or going to church. If you find yourself not wanting to show up to church, show up to youth, show up Sunday, do any of those things, those are the real temporal things, those are the real surface-level things. If you find yourself just being aggravated and stressed out and overwhelmed, not being able to be loving to people in your family anymore, not even being able to be a helpful participant, your parents ask you to clean one dish up and you're so overwhelmed, stressed out, and tired from doing all the activities, maybe you're responsible to get to a place where you evaluate that and you go, "You know what, I've said yes to too much, and even though my parents said I could, I find that this is causing me to not be like Christ." And you're responsible. Because parents, and it's not an indictment on you, I want to untether you from the responsibility to feel like you have to have all the answers for your kids, because sometimes you're going to give the wrong answers, you're going to give a wrong endorsement, and you're going to say a wrong yes, and it is their responsibility to make that decision for themselves. It is oftentimes fathers and mothers push kids into want-tos to the detriment of have-tos. What happens when we don't get the have-to and the want-to confused? Paul says, "No longer have any." So he says, "I no longer have any room for work remaining between Jerusalem and Illyricum." Listen to this, listen to the distance of this, that this is the work he had done he was called to do. But between Jerusalem and Illyricum it is 1,000 miles between them. That is the difference between Missouri and Florida by foot. That's a lot. Notice he doesn't move the want-to, he doesn't move to the want-tos until he gets, okay, he doesn't move on to the want-to until the have-to and the get-to is done. So once he has done all this work in this thousand miles, he said, "All the work here that I was supposed to do, I did it." That's a lot. He spends years doing that, and all the while he has a want-to, but he doesn't do his want-to.
He says no to his want-to, because sometimes saying yes to God is saying no to your want-to. All this
Pastor Shawn Gray · 56:55
time he says no to his want-to. He wants to the entire time, but he only focuses on the have-to until the have-to is done, because you don't move on to the want-to until the have-to is done. But notice, when the have-to is done he doesn't go straight to the want-to. He still has a get-to or must-to that he has to do first: taking money from one place to the saints in Jerusalem so they have what they need.
And once they have what they need, then he goes to his want-to, only then. Priorities. Some of us can't even make a right choice on what to eat, because, what, because the want-to rules. Some men can't even decide how to use the internet properly because of the want-to. Some teenagers, girls and boys, misuse the internet and have recently because your want-to rules. Some young people and older people who are dating in this building have had sex out of wedlock because the want-to reigns. Are you with me today? Well, I want to. Priorities.
Priorities. It's always easy, it's always easier to take someone's virginity than to commit your life to them, and getting that out of order messes everything up. Are you with me today? The has-to, the have-to, is God-centric.
I'm closing with this: the get-to is others-centric, and the want-to is self-centric.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 59:14
Notice here, there is still a place for the self-centric position, the want-to. There's still a place for that. Notice there's no rebuke here for the want- to. The rebuke comes when the want-to is out of place, and the goal today is for you to consider how often you get the want-to out of order. We have this idea that there does not exist, that there is no has-to, that once we come to Christ there's merely a gets-to and a want- to. When you come to Christ there is a have-to. There is always a have-to.
The goal today is for you to go home and you to consider your priorities. I'm going to recap: have-to, gets-to, want-to.
There is room in your life for all of them, but there is not room for a believer to get these out of order.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 1:00:41
There just is not.
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