Matthew 6:14–15Scripture
Everybody turn your Bibles this morning to Matthew chapter 6. We're going to look at verse 14 through 15.
While you look last, this chapter has been in my personal opinion talking about well, it's really been inviting us, if you will, to come off the throne and reminding us that God alone should be there.
And we enthrone oursel often. I think unintentionally at times I don't think it's this all the time. I don't think it's this setting our place like flint against the things of God. I think by nature we're wrapped in human flesh and we have a tendency to prioritize self.
The reality is not just in life but in the way that we interpret Scripture, we find oursself enthroning oursel and when we do that then that begins to have a shaping effect on how we interpret Scripture. There is a biblical worldview you can have and then there's a multitude of other worldviews that can shape how you interpret Scripture.
And inside the life of the church, if you're familiar with different cultural worldviews, you can begin to see them in the way that we interpret Scripture in our conversations right inside the walls of the church.
Introduction
Good people who love the Lord are shaped by worldviews that are not biblical.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 2:03
And for years, they have carried an understanding of Scripture that is false. And so it's important for us when we ever we open up Scripture to open it reminding oursel that we're not Lord and are reminding oursel that we might have gotten this wrong. And not really carry baggage from an understanding of yesterday into the text today because it's the job of the Holy Spirit to illuminate Scripture, not your past understanding. Okay.
Then there are certain words honestly that people say and it's not necessarily that they understand the word improperly. It's that they interpret it different than their neighbor.
So for instance when I say love there might be a multitudes of understanding about love in the house today. How we would apply it, how we would see it and how we would use it in our life. So there's a multitude of theological words. One of those is forgiveness. The way that you might see forgiveness rolled out in life today is going to be very different person to person. One person might be saying forgiveness, but they might be meaning something different.
And so then that begins to shape how we understand forgiveness because people are using a word in a way that another person's not using that word.
So, we grasp ahold and gain an understanding from different interpretations of a word. Whenever we sit down and have a conversation, sometimes what I'm beginning to realize is that it's important for us to all get on the same page and say what we are meaning. We should define some terms when we're talking about certain things. We should define the terms and make sure that we're all speaking on the same wavelength.
Today I want to do that. Let's read the Scripture. Verse 14. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. Sounds like an if then statement. One of the things you need to understand here is
If you read a text and it seems like it's contradicting the rest of Scripture, you must recontextualize that text according to all Scripture.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 4:26
Meaning that God now has not Jesus Christ has not now changed his mind preaching a sermon on the mount and it's like you know what salvation's conditional upon what you do. It's not what he's saying. So what is he saying then? What is he saying? For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your heavenly father forgive your trespasses. Let's just start here. I think this is really important. I'll make this really simple so you don't have to think too much. And I'm not necessarily want to preach a whole sermon to tell you what this what I believe contextually this means. Listen, this is revealing somebody who is a false convert who in essence professes that they're a believer but doesn't have a forgiving spirit.
That's not possible for somebody who's been forgiven much. Yeah. Somebody who has had their heart made new. One of the things that I have realized over the years is I can be I can be ferociously irritated with somebody, mad at somebody, hurt by somebody, and the moment they come and repent, something in me won't allow me to hold a grudge no more.
I can't. I want to. I want to in the flesh, but it's like my heart instantly melts and it's absolved. Not absolved by me, absolved by the Christ who made me. Amen.
When you're made new, repentance demands forgiveness. That's the gospel.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 6:26
Honestly, that's not just the gospel lived out between God and Christ and the Holy Spirit and men. That's the gospel lived out and beautified through men engaging with men.
It's beautiful. We get to see that lived out. Now whenever we go into a Scripture and we begin to talk about things like forgiveness, one of the important things we need to do is we need to understand that culture defines forgiveness one way and engages it one way and God does another.
And they are very different. And it is the work of every Bible scholar to understand the difference between what culture says about a thing and what the Bible says about a thing and to begin to diagnose the differences between the two of those. So let me ask you a question and this will help shape this questions cut through the mystery of Scripture. This will help shape an understanding of what forgiveness is and lay a groundwork of what we can build on regarding interpreting this text. So here's the deal. Why? Don't answer out loud. Think it in your head. Why did God forgive you? Ultimately, what is the ultimate reason? We can think of a lot of things, but just for a moment, think, don't say it out loud. Why ultimately did God want Jesus to die on the cross and bring forgiveness to you through repentance? Why?
Think for a moment. Because there's a bunch of things but there's one main reason. Now, if you're not too scared to answer, I'm going to wait for the right answer. I'm not going to rebuke the wrong answer. But if you're not too scared, mention a few things because there's a bunch of things that he did it for. Let me give you an example. We're sinners.
We need to be saved. We need our sins forgiven. That's one thing. But is that the ultimate reason? You know what I mean? So, what do you think the ultimate reason is? Just kind of share it out since we're at round tables today. We'll just have a little talk time. Glorify. Glorify his name. That would be the ultimate. Yeah, that's even more ultimate than what I'm thinking.
So, yeah, that's great to glorify his name. So, you win. Congratulations. You get a sticker. You get a sticker. You get a sticker. You went beyond me. And so, winning, right? There's another reason. Let's just throw out another reason I want to talk about today. He loves us. That's good.
Okay. Reconciliation for what? Why? Relationship. Right relationship. What did sin do? Broke covenant relationship. All right. It broke the covenant relationship. So ultimately forgiveness what it compensates. You know we got the nerd in the class who says glory and that is the ultimate one. That is the ultimate one. That surpassed what I was thinking. But contextually here he's talking about covenant relationship forgiveness accomposite. It's restoration of relationship that should then lay a foundation for how we engage in forgiveness.
Okay. Now the world says that forgiveness happens unilaterally which means that the priority of forgiveness then if culture says that you can unilaterally exchange and give forgiveness from a distance then it doesn't prioritize covenant relationship.
So then it undermines the very purpose that God created forgiveness for. So then
When you are you psychoanalyze or you therapeutically diagnose and interpret forgiveness then you have a cultural worldview of what forgiveness is but not a biblical one.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 10:31
Amen. And then you begin to engage in something that God commands in a way that's not biblical.
Now, I'm going to blow your mind today because we've heard thousands upon thousands of sermons on forgiveness and in lot of conversation. I tend to stand alone in regard to this. But I think I will propose something to you today that I want you to let sit there for a moment for your consideration as we try to properly understand what God is asking of us in this text.
These are not easy words because if you've lived in life for and if you lived this life any amount of time, you know is it's tough.
It's harmful. It's hurtful. These are not therapeutic words, and that's important. These are not culturally safe words. These are not emotionally padded words. They're actually terrifying because it's revealing to what type of heart you have. And
A heart that's been made new by a God who forgives should be a heart that forgives.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 12:03
And Jesus does not suggest that we forgive. He does not recommend it. He does not offer some kind of coping strategy so that you can cope with your hurt. He declares a condition of the heart. That's kind of what he's been saying for the last two chapters. There's something deeper at work than your actions. There is a transformation that happens in your heart.
And the problem is modern culture has quietly redefined forgiveness. We've psycho analyzed it. We've individualized it. We've detached it from repentance and we've turned it into self-liberation. And this is carnal. This is not biblical. You triggered yet? Just stay with me. Don't like write me off yet. Just stay with me for a second because this is going to be very different than what you thought because it's very different than what's been preached. And I'm just telling you right now, I think God's saying something different to us.
He's not asking us to live in a hyperindividualistic age. Our culture is very hyperindividualistic. And so then it stands to reason that we interpret forgiveness through the lens of that cultural lens, through that cultural lens. But that's not biblical.
Matter of fact, we just jumped off of a sermon or a prayer where he taught us to pray with our and we and because it's communal yet we go to the next verse and it's all about me just unilaterally doing something with no relationship. How do we get there? What in the world? What is happening?
Jesus is not talking about some emotional detox you do to help yourself. He's talking about covenant mercy.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 14:00
And in this text, he draws a straight line between how you respond to a repentant offender and how God responds to you.
All right. Point one, I'll make this quick. Actually, I was just trying to get Last week I did 30 minutes and Brooke almost had a heart attack downstairs. They the parents were coming down and she's like, "what is happening? Are I think she stopped her sermon. She's like, "are you done?" "Oh no, what am I going to do?" And so I told her, "you best get ready because I'm going to knock this out, too. It's going to be 30
Point 1Forgiven people forgive repentant people
minutes and we're done." Forgiveness. Forgiven people. Number one, forgiven people forgive repentant people.
Period. That's just what happens when you're made new in Christ. Even when your flesh don't want to. Oopsy daisy. Spirit wins out. I mean, it just does. I don't know why. It just does. You could try to resist it. Good luck trying to resist that. Just good luck. Give it a day or two. Watch. Watch. The spirit will just He'll break your rebellion and soften your heart.
And the person you hated two days ago, you'll slowly start to like. You ever been there? Because God does that. Scripture never presents forgiveness as ignoring sin. Thank goodness.
God does not forgive unrepentant sinners. God forgives repentant sinners.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 15:41
Do what you want with that. Repent and believe. That's the Scripture. Confess and be cleansed. Turn and be restored. Here's what Luke 17 says. Because some of you are like, "Well, it doesn't say repent here, Sean, so we're supposed to forgive without repentance."
The rest of the Bible talks often about repentance when forgiveness is present. It's kind of just given. It's just kind of given. Luke 17:3-8 says, "Pay attention to yourself. If your brother sins, rebuke him." Whoa. I'll just I like this therapeutic forgiveness where I don't have to go talk to them. Tell them I'm offended. I'll bequeath it to you from over here.
Well, that sounds fun. It's not relational. Jesus, we love this. At Christmas time, Jesus came near to those who were in offense to him. Oh, isn't that wonderful? Isn't that glorious? Oh, thank you, Jesus, for doing that. Just don't ask me to do that.
Don't ask me to draw near to someone who's offended me and seek restoration in that relationship. Don't ask me to do that. What? What? Don't ask you to be like Christ. See the problem here with the way that we teach forgiveness. Pay attention. If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, if that didn't say that, does it? It says if he repents, forgive him.
And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and turns seven times, saying, "I repent." You must forgive him. I don't know if that's possible. It isn't, unless you're saved. Notice
Repentance is present where forgiveness is present. Repentance in other words is not optional. Repentance is assumed.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 18:10
Now for those of you who cannot no longer listen to me because you're like, well, what are we supposed to do with people? We supposed to hold a grudge forever and hold bitterness in our heart towards them? No. We're going to talk about that, too. Everybody calm yourself. We're not talking about that right now. So, don't jump to point three. Let's just stay on 0.1.
I'll get there. I know what you guys think. I know. I hear it. I don't hear it, but I assume it. Just stay where we're at. I'm getting there. I'm getting so, what am I supposed to do if I can't forgive? If no one repents, what am I supposed to do? We'll talk about that. Matthew 6 does not repeat the words repentance because the entire gospel assumes it. The kingdom begins with repentance.
So what is Jesus confronting? He is confronting hardened hearts. He's confronting people who want mercy from God while withholding mercy from a brother who's turned and said, "I repent." When someone confesses, when someone seeks reconciliation, when someone turns from sin, to withhold forgiveness in that moment is to deny the grace you say saved you. Yeah, that's a big deal.
You cannot kneel at the cross on Sunday and refuse to open your arms on Monday.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 19:36
Point 2Culture has rewritten our understanding of forgiveness
Forgiven people forgive repentant people. Period. Number two, culture has rewritten the an understanding of forgiveness. And it's important that we understand the cultural lens by which we interpret Scripture. We must say this plainly. Here's what happened. Western individualism has entered the church.
It's here. Then therapeutic language entered the pulpit. And now forgiveness is framed primarily as something you do for your mental health. How did that happen? How did that happen? Very easily. See, you guys think that Satan has horns and he runs around trying to get everybody to do the worst possible thing he can get them to do. It's not what he's doing. He wants to pervert truth. Yeah. Amen.
This is how
He does it. He does it right from our pulpits right inside our small group conversations because we would rather be shaped by culture than by truth.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 21:00
And then we raise up entire generations that have a misunderstanding of forgiveness. The Scripture frames forgiveness as something you do listen to restore covenant community.
Nothing will destroy covenant community like prioritizing self, like standing on the street corners being braggadocious, like hoarding all of your resources and not giving to someone in need because you're only concerned about you. And then like forgiving all for you. Catch it? It's amazing. It's amazing to me. It's amazing that right in the very context of the Scripture as he tries to un earth unhitch us from self, we tend to take something that's destructive and make it about self to glorify him.
What in the world? See how easy it is? It's so easy, man. Am I alone? It's so easy to make life about us, to make it about us. One is self-centered. The other is God- centered. Our culture is radically individualistic. Everything bends towards self-care, self-p protection, self-liberation, self-pace.
So then forgiveness has been refrained as an internal exercise detached from repentance and detached from pursuing restored relationship.
Psychology asked, "How do I feel free?"
Pastor Shawn Gray · 23:10
The Scripture asks, "has there been repentance and restoration?" They're very different.
Now, do not misunderstand me. The Bible is clear. You should not live in bitterness. You must not harbor rage. You must not fantasize about how you're going to get revenge. Do that. Let that stuff go. But releasing vengeance to God is not the same thing as declaring someone reconciled without repentance. It's not the same thing. Releasing vengeance to God and letting him deal with that and not harboring bit bitterness in your heart and leading with mercy and being ready to forgive is not the same thing as declaring someone reconciled without repentance.
Those are two totally different things. One protects your heart. The other restores a relationship. And we just talked about other than the ultimate thing this the second ultimate thing would be he came to restore relationship.
Those are very different. There is a category for entrusting justice to God when someone remains unrepentant. There's a category for boundaries. There's a category for refusing to enable evil. But
Nowhere does Scripture redefine forgiveness as a unilateral declaration of reconciliation void of repentance.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 24:52
It is not in there. I looked it's not in there.
The idea that did not come from Moses. That idea, the idea that unilateral declaration of reconciliation without repentance, that's what I was saying. Didn't come from Moses. It didn't come from Jesus. And it didn't come from the apostles. It came from a therapeutic age uncomfortable with confrontation, holiness, and covenant accountability that prioritize self and mental state of being over what God intended.
And when the church absorbs that language without biblical clarity, we create confusion. Forgiveness becomes self- therapy instead of covenant mercy.
But Jesus ties forgiveness to the way God forgives. Forgive others as God forgave you in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians, we're instructed how to forgive.
You know how God forgave you in Christ Jesus? Through repentance.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 26:20
Point 3Refusal reveals
Number three, refusal reveals. Jesus says, "if you don't forgive, your father won't forgive you." That should shake you to the core. This is not salvation by works. This is exposure of a heart. A forgiven heart becomes a forgiving heart. That's cute, right? That's a cute saying, but it helps. It helps. When someone claims to have been forgiven by God yet refuses to forgive or repentant brother, it reveals something about them.
It reveals pride, self-righteousness, selective mercy.
We want justice for others and mercy for oursel, but the gospel destroys that posture.
The same blood that covered your rebellion covers theirs. The same mercy that reached into your darkness should reach into theirs.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 27:24
If you can stare at Calvary and still clutch someone's throat who is saying, "I repent," something is desperately wrong.
Refusal reveals your heart. Number three, and this is the final one, reconciliation is the goal. Our culture teaches internal release. Scripture teaches restored relationship. Matthew 18 teaches confrontation. I'm conflict averse.
Good thing you are made new in Christ because who you were is not who you should be.
And who you should be is made by who he is. And Luke 17 teaches rebuke and repent. Matthew 5 teaches go to your brother. Did you forget that? Why? Because forgiveness in the kingdom is relational. God did not simply release us emotionally when he forgave us. I release you so that I can feel better and free my mental state of being. I don't have to be a prisoner to you any longer.
Where's that? He reconciled us covenantially. Through Christ, we were brought near. Through repentance, we were restored. Through confession, we were cleansed.
Forgiveness is not pretending. It's not forgetting. It's not minimizing. Forgiveness is restoring fellowship.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 29:19
When repentance has taken place, you're not required to reconcile with the unrepentant. You're not commanded to call evil good. You're not instructed to enable continued abuse. But when repentance is present, mercy must be present.
If they turn, it's your duty to open the door.
Jesus ends this section of the prayer with a warning. You just prayed, forgive us our debts. Then he says, be careful how you treat the debts of others.
You want heaven open, keep your heart open. You want mercy flowing, let mercy flow.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 30:22
This generation wants forgiveness without repentance, mercy without accountability, and reconciliation without confrontation. That is not biblical. You can call it what you want.
The reality is we have people inside the walls of the church, outside the walls of the church, everywhere, who when they say forgiveness, they're talking about something different than the Bible's talking about, I'm afraid. And the base point, the main reason for forgiveness is self, not relationship.
We pray for self. Jesus is trying to unburden us from that, unhitch us from that by getting us to pray for with an us mentality.
This generation wants forgiveness without repentance. But the kingdom does not bend to culture. Culture should bend to the king.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 31:24
Amen. This is not about emotional wellness. This is not about psychological closure. This is about whether the cross has truly humbled you. That's what this is about. The person who knows how much they have been forgiven does not struggle to forgive the repentant. So, here's a couple questions to ask yourself today, right? And then I'll close.
Have I received mercy? Am I rece am I withholding mercy from someone who's turned and repented? Have I adopted a cultural version of forgiveness that Scripture does not teach?
Forgiven people forgive. What does your mercy mirror? Does it mirror a cultural idea of forgiveness or a biblical one? Some of you have a forgiveness machine gun and you're just dishing it out to everyone with no reconciliation, no desire for relationship. It's like, I got you. That's silly. It's harder than that. And can I just close with this thought?
How arrogant are we to think that we can forgive unilaterally when God doesn't?
Pastor Shawn Gray · 33:01
We can forgive void of repentance when God doesn't. We can forgive in a way that God doesn't. Could it be that we're on the throne and we think we're God enough to redefine what forgiveness should look like? Man, it's quiet. You guys hate me. Are we good? I'm feeding you in a minute. Okay. Actually, I didn't make anything.
So, Brook's feeding you in a minute. It's mind mindboggling though, right? Now, you can leave it today. Let me just say this. You can leave today. You can totally disagree with me. That's fair. That's fair. But think about it. Think about it. Consider it. And for those of you who are going to come up to me after the service and say, "Well, if I can't forgive until somebody repents, I have a lot of people that haven't repented." And my question would be, do you have a lot of people that haven't repented that you haven't gone to?
That's going to be my first question. So before you come up, that's going to be my first question. What have you done to pursue reconciliation? You know that Scripture, it says, "as far as it depends on you, live peaceibly." That means you have a role to play.
That peace and reconciliation and a peaceful relationship requires sometimes to you to go to the one who offended, let them know there's an offense.
Well, that might have start a debate.
Do you value yourself and protecting yourself and your own comfort more than reconciliation?
Pastor Shawn Gray · 35:02
Because that's not a heart of God either. Some of you are going to be like, "Well, what do I do if I've gone to them and they haven't repented? What do I do, Sean?" The Bible says, "Release bitterness from your heart." Lead with mercy.
Don't desire to get him back. You have control of that to do uni unilaterally. How come you don't want to do that unilaterally, but you want to forgive unilaterally? Why is that? The second thing is I've seen some people so miserable in life because someone died and they haven't forgiven them.
But you can release bitterness out of your heart.
You can pray for them while they're still angry at you.
Pastor Shawn Gray · 36:02
There's a lot of things you can do.
There's a lot of things
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